Hmmm.

First blog entry in months. Sorry about that. So, another year is over and a new one is beginning, and predictably, I can't stop crying. All men are arseholes. Dan finished with me a few weeks after mum died. No surprise there, really. Met someone else (Joe). But unfortunately, I am an emotional retard and so me and Joe are getting no where fast...I almost feel as if it was over before it began. As soon as he got too close and I started to get feelings for him, I ran away.

The situation isn't being helped by the fact that me and Dan are still living together. Seperate rooms, but it's still hard sometimes.

The fundamental issue with all this is that on the other end of the scale, I am terrified of being alone. It makes me feel unloved, worthless and so so lonely. All around me I see these bloody happy couples, and all I can think is 'Why the hell am I incapable of doing that?' and so I seek out a relationship, only to push them away once they get too close.

So, I need to learn to first be alone. Then I need to learn to not run away.

God, I'm so confused...

Not crying anymore though :-S